December 23rd,2016 just a few days before Christmas former A&E states reality star Ryan Daniel Buell writes his letter to his fans. Talk about the Grinch who destroyed Christmas the letter read like some guy who was lost is still lost and might forever be lost.
One thing that Buell say’s that we found disturbing, was that he “hurt the ones closest to him. But what about those people he just outright scammed? do they not count to?
To all the fans… my family and friends, colleagues, passersby, worst enemies and greatest supporters and to those who have encouraged and supported me along my way,
This letter took a considerably longer time to write than I ever expected. For weeks I literally stared at a blank page. I have written a few drafts where I work on just the first few sentences. They were pretty bad. Even for my standards.
I’m kind of lost right now. As in, I lost my way. Fumbled in the dark. I didn’t want to write this letter. I admit I tried to avoid writing it at every opportunity presented to me. I’m too embarrassed. Ashamed. Hurt. Angry. Defeated. Selfish. And most of all, I am sorry. I have wanted to run away from any sort of spotlight for a while now. Getting lost in my own pain was very easy and convenient enough for me to retreat in to, I discovered. Yet the toll has a high price. Those who paid the highest price for my actions are the people who are closest to me. I think I justified my actions by assuming that I was making you safer by keeping you away. That is and will remain to be one of my biggest mistakes. And I’ll have to carry that around for a very long time.
Many of you have looked to me for answers and sometimes I felt confident enough to volunteer them for you. But at this time in my life, I can tell you that almost all of my views are shifting as I struggle to find myself. For many years I actively shared and witnessed pain. From clients and friends all over the country. In a short period of time, I experienced a tremendous amount of pain. Looking back now, I admire the courage of those around me for being able to deal with theirs in a way that is healthier than the route I took. My pain is no greater than anyone’s. And while I am guilty of a great many things, I assure you that my faults were almost never intentional. I never set out to disappoint any of you. In fact, fear of disappointing those around me has always been one of my biggest fears. And with that said, it’s obvious I let my fears take control over me.
For that reason, I am taking a step back in order for PRS to move in a healthier direction. As I’ve said to some of my closest friends, it was a sobering, mind-shattering moment for me to come to terms with the realization that I – the founder of PRS – have become its biggest threat. I cannot right every wrong I’ve caused. I know that I will continue to disappoint many of you who are already disillusioned, but I promise you that I will try to get back up and do my best to build something special.
To my friends and family, I am sorry that we have drifted apart. Many of you are aware that my mother wrote an open letter to the fans. On occasion, even when I’ve been out in public, people ask how we are doing. What I will say is I love my mother like a son should love his mother. I haven’t always shown it, especially lately, but it’s there. As is my love for my father, brothers and sisters. I am choosing to take a brighter path largely because I know it will allow me to near you once more. I love you all.
I know I haven’t addressed a large amount of questions you may have. That’s also part of the reason why I struggled to write this. There are a lot of questions. A lot of feelings. A lot of rumors. A lot of different perspectives. There’s a lot of soul searching happening over here. In time I’ll be able to provide you answers. For now, I just want to take a moment to apologize, tell you that you all matter a great deal to me, and I hope that this message finds you all healthy and warm.
As you know, the holidays are here. For the past two years, I deliberately spent Christmas alone. I regretted it each time. This year, know that I will not be alone. In the midst of all the pain, anger and damage, I found some light. Or perhaps the light found me. Some truly amazing souls have entered my life and have helped me get to this moment here. I may not yet be whole. But I have come to a moment where I realize I can get out of the dark, and there are people waiting on that other side to cheer me on.
Thank you everyone. I will continue reading your messages and I hope to return to you soon. Happy holidays. God bless.